This week I have been hit with a giant sledge-hammer.
I have been suffering with acute pain for a while and knew a month ago I was being sent to see a consultant to discuss surgery.
Well this week I did indeed see that surgeon and although coming away relieved that my quality of life could be made better by having surgery I don’t think I quite realised what I would be facing.
It seems I have more damage to my abdominal structure than I first thought with my Caesarean sections and previous abdominal surgeries.
My lower tummy muscles have completely separated allowing most of my bowels free rein outside of my abdominal cavity and my section wound itself has come apart.
Surgery for me will now no longer be any degree of keyhole and I will have to have full open surgery but not just one opening.
My surgery will involve my caesarean section scar opened back up to be repaired from the inside out and I will be cut from my bellybutton down to meet the section cut (forming an upside down T ) where my internal organs will be put back into my internal structure and the muscles stitched together with a meshing over the top to hold them in place, I will then be stitched and put back together.
I was coping well with the thought of this major surgery until the consultant said I would be in hospital for hopefully only 3-4 days and for the first few I would have an epidural in place to help mange the pain. I only had an epidural in place for the duration of my section when I gave birth so the fact I will need it a few days has me totally freaked out.
Part of me is really excited at the future being less painful and finally having some muscles that work so my back doesn’t keep taking the brunt of keeping me upright. I am also looking forward to being able to keep going on my fitness journey and being able to actually run and workout harder but I am terrified of the pain from this major reconstructive surgery that I am going to be in before I can get to that stage.
I think that means my fitness journey is going to take on a whole new dimension in the coming months but eventually I will be fit … and until then I will keep trying to shift some more weight.