Now first off I would like to say I am not after a pity party. This is my blog and I love it as it is a place for me to air my feelings. If you’re not feeling comfortable reading about feelings please do scroll on by.
I know some people are going through so much more than me and I do feel like I have no reason to feel this way, however:
I feel sad
unhappy
I am tired
and frustrated
I have no way of making these feelings go away that I know of.
I am feeling like nothing I do actually makes a difference ……….. and in fairness I feel misunderstood by some.
A single fleeting word from another can leave me floundering on the floor like a harpooned whale. Since when did I become so sensitive? since when did I care? since when would that leave me feeling like the world is against me? (yes I am overdramatic)
Over the last few months I have felt increasingly insecure in who I am, what I do, where I am and the type of parent I have become .. is this down to my agonisingly appalling hormones that a fog of sadness had rolled in?
I fear my need to please everyone has in fact pleased no one .. least of all myself and the tinges of depression that are waving at me from over in the corner of the room terrify me. I will not go there, I will not bow down to its whim …..
Could this recent bout of unsettledness in fact be down to a midlife crisis at ages 34 3/4? or could it actually just be that I need to shake myself at being so painfully dramatic and that in fact I need to get a grip?
All I know for sure .. right now is I am sad to my very core … and I just don’t want to be.
Oh Jaime, that can’t be very nice. I have no words of advice but I think everyone faces ups and downs in their lives and sometimes, we just don’t know why. Hope you can pick yourself up soon – is there something fun or creative that you can consume yourself with to help you through it? xx
thanks my lovely, i have never really felt like this before and its making me frustrated. I might have to take some time off and get in the garden i find that therapeutic 🙂
I think you’ve got a lot on your plate, are working very hard, have a very big heart and give a lot, and it’s easy to get drained, tired, and for feelings of depression to start to creep in. It’s hard juggling a lot, and also trying to keep everyone happy.
Those feelings are hard to fight off. Don’t let them overwhelm you. We are all hear, to listen and support. Oh, and you do make a difference, in lots of ways! Just think, you taught me how to put code on my blog, that’s huge!!
awww thank you Karen, your way too kind!! your a coding genius you didnt need me !! lol
i might take a few days off and get my head together x
Don’t think you don’t have the right to be sad because some people are worse off than you, you wouldn’t tell a happy person they don’t have the right to be happy because there are other people that have more reasons to be happy. You feel sad and that’s okay, that’s your right, you probably don’t want to be but this feeling will pass. (I hope some of that made sense!) xxx
my lovely this comment put me in tears! yes it did make sense .. thank you xxxx
Ah Jaime don’t be sad. I’m sure you have loads to make you smile. I love your blog and it makes me happy to visit you. It must be good when you know you are writing things that people enjoy. We all get down times and that’s ok . Long as you have people to love and support you then the sun will come out for sure. Hugs and more xxxxx
thank you my lovely, what a really nice thing for you to say. I dont know why i feel this way and i really ought not to be feeling like this i am hoping its just a blip xx
Aww Jaime, I know you’re not after pity but I am sorry you are feeling this way. Well done for being brave enough to admit the way you are feeling and to start talking about it. Admitting there is a problem, even if you’re not sure what it is, is the first step to solving it. Take small steps and think about what would make you feel even a little better. I have been on that edge too so I know how you feel, and it did pass. I hope this passes for you and you feel more like yourself again soon xx
thank you so much Caroline for your kind words and also for your bravery to tell me you felt the same it really means a lot xx
Jaime, I don’t know you in person but this is such a sad post. Sometimes sadness is part of life and sometimes it’s more than that. I don’t want to offer you unsolicited advice but I think you should talk to someone about your feelings. I’m a doctor so would recommend your GP if you feel comfortable with them. Perhaps you can think of someone else. I wish you love and hugs and hope you feel happier soon.
thank you so much my lovely, I am certainly in need to talking to someone, I suppose working from home and having a job that is very insular is not helpful to engage with life. xxxxxxxxxx
aww honey, having met you in person I can’t even imagine you being so sad, you were so bubbly and lovely and kind with an amazing smile. However, we all feel like this sometimes and there is no need to apologise, it will pass, you will fight it. I think maybe your operation is starting to take its toll, the physical part may be healing but things like this put such a stress on our mentality that it’s bound to take it’s toll eventually. Keep smiling xxx
thank you so much Anne,i cant wait to see you tomorrow! i think the op had had a really negative effect on me mentally. I am going back to the gym next week and so i am hoping that this will help pick my mood up a little too x
(((()))) real hugs later xxxx
So lovely to see you today x
It is okay to be sad as life does throw lots of curveballs. However, if your sadness does not go away but get worse, then you must seek help. Be kind to yourself. x
awww thank you honey xx
Jaime I don’t know what to say but wanted to send you support and hugs. You have every right to feel sad – it doesn’t matter that there might not be rational reasons for it. It’s a rubbish feeling and I really feel for you. Hope you have plenty of support around you lovely to get through this xx
thank you, its so odd to feel so sad and not know why! i have some amazing friends and family thankfully xx
And it’s okay to feel sad sometimes Jaime, be kind to yourself and wait for it to pass. Have a great day today, sorry I can’t be there to give you a hug and tell you it is okay. x
awww Emma, thank you so much for you super kind words! it would of been super to see you today! xx
That’s ok to feel sad you know. I don’t know you well enough to give advice, all I know is that every now and then I get that. I have learnt to associate it with hormonal fluctuation and the way I cope is with magnesium, B 6 vitamins and meditation. Maybe some of this can help? Don’t let it drag you down too long because you don’t want to make it harder to come back up. Maybe and a chat to your GP would be helpful? Good luck and take care of yourself XX
Darling Jaime……After reading your post I want to hug you until it all goes away. All I will say is that it will get better. Wish I lived round the corner then I could guide you through this shitty time with cake and a hug. Xxxx
You have made my make-up run! I’m glad I can actually give you a hug (when this session is over). I feel so sad that you feel like that. x x x
You’ve been through a heck of a lot recently and I think its completely understandable to feel emotionally drained by it all. I hope you’re ok lobely and that the sadness goes away. Xx
You’re not alone, we are very similar. I’m always here to hold your hand, and at the moment I’m holding it tightly as I feel exactly the same. Floundering, stressed, lost, sad.
Big hug.
I wish I could make you feel better. But I feel very much the same lately. I am struggling to open up though. Turn to those you love, they love you whatever, use that. You will probably find they didn’t realise you were floundering xxx
Hun, I am so sorry you are feeling that way. We all do at times. It is so hard to shake off that feeling that you are under water and cannot find a way to swim to the surface and feel happy again… You are such an inspiration for so many of us, Jaime and do some much. I really admire you. x Mel
Focus on getting grounded and centred. Particularly your navel. Eliminate sugar consumption. Increase root vegetables. Spend more time outdoors. Deep breathe in your tummy not your ribs. Feel a sense of letting go every time you exhale. Look in the mirror and say I love you x
Jaime, from what I know of you, you are a wonderful person. I think you need to stop trying to please others and try to please yourself a little bit first. You deserve to be happy x
Honestly I think what you are feeling is normal.
The recent stress you have had regarding your health has probably triggered this because while worrying about yourself you also had the stress of your family and husband because even though you may have had support you still feel responsible for their well being.
I recently went through a period where I was so very tired of being the person everyone needed. It was making feel resentful, exhausted and a little angry!
((hugs)) it will pass!!!
I haven’t read the other comments but I would advise speaking to someone about how you feel. It doesn’t matter that others are seemingly going through ‘worse’ than you. They are not you and you are important too. It might help to talk through how you feel and get a little perspective. But don’t be hard on yourself, you are allowed to feel this way and you are allowed to seek help if you need it. There is nothing to be ashamed of for being human
x x
thanks so much honey for you really kind words it really meant alot. Sometimes just hearing from others can help xx
I think we all feel like this sometimes. I know I certainly did at the start of the year but thankfully seem to be turning a corner now. Sometimes I think it is good to step away from the pressures of everything, even if just for a couple of days, and concentrate on what is really important. Hope you manage to snap out of it soon and get back to your oldself xxx
i am so sorry you felt like this too! thank you millions for your kind words Tami x
It’s no wonder. Everything that has happened to you recently has meant you haven’t been yourself, and that takes it’s toll after a while. It was lovely to see you yesterday, and to know that there are things you are doing to progress. It takes so long (and I’m guessing I’ll be feeling a bit this way soon too) to recover from health problems. But I think you look great, and you seem to have such a good attitude. I’m sure you’ll start to get through this soon x
thank you so much Helen for you really lovely comment and if you need me anytime you just yell! xxxxxx
I am so sorry you feel this way – the last time I felt like this was when I went on the mini pill and it sent my hormones all over the place – have you changed any hormonal input like this recently? If you can’t pinpoint anything I suggest talking to your GP, it’s not good for you, or for those around you for you to feel this way, so talk about it. Sending hugs lovely lady xx
thanks honey, my implant is coming to the end of its life so not sure if that could of sent my hormones out? will have to get it checked! thank you for your hugs xx
Come talk to me xx
I know how you feel xx
thanks Claire, i am sorry to hear your feeling like this too! xxx
I think life sometimes throws sadness at us as a warning to take stock, slow down a bit and put ourselves first for a while. Take care xx
thanks Rosie, i think you might be right x
Ah Jaime this is sad, I really feel for you. One of the best pieces of advice that I have ever been given is to discover what makes you happy – however big or small. Perhaps some time outdoors, time with a friend, exercise. Whatever it is, make sure that you prioritise it in your week. That certainly makes me feel better. Can you put your finger on what is making you sad? Parenting two children of such different ages must be very demanding on you, I certainly know what Teens and Tweens are like so is that taking its toll right now? Whatever it is, I hope that you feel brighter soon 🙂 x
i think the tween/teen time is so hard and a toddler at the same time is damn hard work! i think i have lost myself a little along the way, but i am intending to find me again! xxxxx
I could have written this post, I’m in exactly the same place. I was really concerned about going to BlogCamp as I’d been in such a mess for a while. Not on top of anything. I’ve been blaming my age and hormones. The Doc isn’t convinced so I’m off for blood tests on Wednesday to see what they do or do not reveal. Life is just not easy at times, and actually being a stay at home Mum doesn’t help with the whole confidence thing. Well that’s what I’ve found anyway. Hope you are ok, know you’ve had bad news today xx
awww Mary i am so sorry your feeling like this too! i think working from home its so alienating we forget to have a real life too! sending big hugs to you x