Moving from the home they have lived in independently for years to assisted living is hard not only for your parents themselves but for the whole family.
Just the conversation with them can be one of the most difficult and emotional you will ever have. While you know that ultimately it will ease some of the burden on you and they will be safe, cared for and happy – they may not want to accept that they are at an age where they need assisted living.
However, once you have had the conversation, there are things you can do to ease the transition.
Sell their home as swiftly as possible
The last thing you want to do is drag out the process – once you have agreed that this move is best for everyone, the quicker it is done, the easier it will be. However, the one thing that could hold you up is the sale of their home. If you go through estate agents this could take months. However, if you go through an online house buyer you could receive an offer within 24 hours, which you are under no obligation to accept – but if you do, the money will be in your account within seven days. This will provide them with the money they need to make the move and then live comfortably.
Help set up the room
Set up their new home before they move in with all their things that will help to make it really feel like home. There would be nothing worse than moving somewhere you don’t really want to be, that feels bare and has no personal references.
Start by taking over some furniture, make the bed with their favourite bedding, fill the shelves with their books and ornaments – finally frame some photos and dot them around the room. They will feel much happier walking in, if it already feels like home.
Speak to the staff
Make sure you take the time and speak to the staff about your parent’s personal preferences. Tell them all about their daily routine, both past and present, their personality, what they like and what they don’t. If they were a keen gardener, for example, let staff know this – they may be able to help out in the garden there. The more information you can give them, the better they can help your parents and the easier the transition will be.
Hide how you are feeling
It may be an upsetting time for you watching your parents move into assisted living and perhaps you are feeling guilty about it, but if you show them how you feel about it, the worse it will be for them – particularly if they aren’t that happy about it themselves. You need to leave your guilt and worries at the door and be upbeat and positive about it – hopefully this will then rub off on them, rather than adding to their concerns. Don’t let you worries build up though, cover anything that concerns you while speaking to the staff – they may be able to alleviate these and in turn you can do the same for your parents.
Disclaimer: This is a collaborative post