Last year was a total washout on the fitness and fatness front.
After receiving major abdominal surgery last February 2017 was supposed to be my year. The year I got back to being healthier, fitter and lost some chub.
Until I was discharged by the hospital in July I was counting down the days to be able to get back to being active. Then the summer holidays rolled round and I vowed that September meant the new me and I would enjoy the kids and our family holiday first.
September arrived and I was so excited, I made plans and added gym times and days to the calendar and then I was involved in a car accident. The car accident wrote my car off and left me with some lower back pain and issues with my head and neck. It has taken 16 weeks of physio to feel even remotely better and although I have now finished physio and awaiting an appointment to see a orthopaedic consultant but I have been given the all clear to go back to the gym and if I am honest I am terrified.
My confidence is on the floor and after an amazingly busy 2 weeks of work for me, minor op for Ollie and settling in sessions at nursery for Jacob the household has been chaotic to say the least so its been easy hide away and let my fear take hold.
Next week I know that I finally need to get back into the gym. I know that exercise needs to become a daily occurrence not monthly and that its a super hard road I need to travel to become healthy and fit.
I think for me hiding behind the chub has been easier than tackling the real problem that eats away from the inside… who am I?
For years I have felt confused at who I am and I know this year has be the year I take the time to rediscover who I am on the inside and not just the outside.
Underneath this fat girl a slim and healthy girl is just waiting to come back out to play, to enjoy her family and no longer be the fat one that worries about breaking the plastic garden furniture when she sits down.