The village in which we live has only mother and toddler groups on offer in the forms of socialisation for Joshua, which I did take him to last year, however the cliquey back biting that went along with these visits filled me with dread and after a few months I stopped taking him altogether. I really didn’t feel that ignoring your child while chatting in corners about each other while the children ran rampage really was a behaviour I wanted him to learn or to even accept as the norm. (not to say they are all like this!)
After our recent holiday in which Joshua attended a really beautiful nursery with such lovely staff we realised that he would need more interaction with his peers as with the avoidance of mother and toddler groups he didn’t have regular interaction with children his own age. The usual things like sharing and taking turns and the social aspect of being with children his own age needed to be increased and with those dreadful local groups out the window we started looking for alternative options.
So over the last couple of weeks we have found a semi local private nursery that he has been visiting to see how he settles. However it seems we don’t have to stress on that front since physical extraction and a bucketful of tears (from him) has been the order of the day once its time to leave.
This week is now the week he will take his place along side his peers 2 mornings a week to be a big boy and develop and grow without me…. is it wrong that this too fills me with guilt??
Now when Bethany was Joshua’s age I was a full time working single parent and so therefore she attended a private day nursery from a very young age and I spent the whole time feeling guilty that I couldn’t stay at home to give her full time care as I needed financially to work.
However this time round with Joshua I have been super fortunate to be able to stay at home with him after taking voluntary redundancy while on Maternity Leave, but yet I still cant give him everything it seems he needs…. will I ever get it right?
So the question is: Will I ever be guilt free over the parenting choices I make or am I destined to give myself ulcers before my children hit the age of 18?