For 38 years I have hated myself, my body and everything that stares back at me from the mirror.
My fluctuating weight, enhanced wrinkles and low self-esteem has played havoc with my mental health. The self-doubt in everything that I have done from parenting, to work it has all taken its toll. After trying to lose weight and then burning myself out trying to make everyone else happy I realised a few weeks back that nothing would change while I hated myself.
After all no one ever wants to invest anything into something that they hate.
Over the last few weeks I have taken baby steps into my personal discovery and journey of acceptance. I have eased of the gas pedal on weight loss. I have taken time out to do things just for me from watching a film to soaking in the tub. However, it has taken really putting myself out there to break this cycle of self-doubt.
The one thing I have hated more than anything over the years was having a photograph taken.
I felt photographs reminded me of everything I am not and showed my own flaws but it has taken this giant leap with the immense team Red Shoe makeovers for me to understand that I have a story to tell and to accept that I have a past, I have a message to give, even if that is to myself.
I am a mum, a wife, a friend, a daughter a business owner, blogger, domestic violence survivor, a cake lover, a diet coke drinker but most of all I am me and I am worthy.
I want to be able to look back on my life in years to come and see photos of me with my family, with my boys and of me living my life not hiding from it.
Learning to love myself and accepting my body and everything that I am is going to be a long slow process. But last week I felt beautiful and worthy for the first time. It was like a switch had clicked and I enjoyed being happy in front of a camera, I enjoyed being me.
Something about having a makeover at Red Shoe and the fiercely empowering ladies that make up the team, Sarah the photographer (from Sarah Jane Photography) and Mandy and Nicole from Goddess (Makeup Artists) to spend the day with make a total trio of empowerment packed into the Red Shoe experience.
I honestly can’t wait to see the finished photos and as soon I have them I will be sharing them with you (these were only selfies!)
For me I have started the journey of self acceptance and accepting my own body. The face that stares back at me in the mirror is mine and although not perfect its mine and I count.
Disclaimer: I visited Red Shoe for a complimentary visit. All thought’s and opinions were independently formed by members of The Oliver’s Madhouse.