The next wonderful blogger in my guest post series is Leyla;
I have had the pleasure of meeting Leyla from This Day I Love several times over the last 4 years at events and also as she is within travelling distance to me too which is a lovely bonus and I am thrilled to be hosting a post written by her today.
Leyla’s blog covers a wide range of topics from parenting, fitness, crafts and adventures as Leyla documents her life with 2 daughters aged 5 and 4 and her son who has just turned 1!
You can also find Leyla here so do pop over and say Hi:
THAT Dreaded Parenting Question!
I remember after the birth of my eldest daughter many people asking the question
‘So when are you having another then?’
The first time I was asked the question I was taken back a little, but it had always been in my plans to have another so would simply answer ‘One day’. Yet ,, and it became the norm. In the end I almost expected it.
What I didn’t expect was after the birth of my youngest daughter the question changed:
‘Is this the last one?’ ‘You are not planning on any more, are you?’
This really shocked me. From less than two years earlier I was encouraged to have more children to now getting told to finish. In some ways I wanted to have hundreds more just to show them and then I sat and thought about the question in more detail.
Many of the people who had asked me this didn’t know my circumstances, they had no idea how long we had tried for a baby. They had no idea of my medical background, or my husbands for that matter. Yet it seemed perfectly reasonable to assume that people have two children, and that is it.
Suppose it had taken us years to conceive and we had spent every penny we had trying to fulfill a hearts desire of a baby. The question of ‘are you having another’ wanting so desperately to be met with a yes, but knowing that isn’t possible. Maybe the birth had been traumatic and the very thought of having more children was enough to cringe and wince. None of this seems to matter.
Knowing all of this I found myself uttering the same words to a friend who recently had a baby, and I cringed as they came tumbling out of my mouth. I never wanted to ask this question, in truth I really did not mind either which way after all it has nothing to do with me, yet there I was asking THAT question. Perhaps it is inbuilt and we cannot help it, perhaps it was asked to me so many times that subconsciously I asked. In the same way you get in a taxi and always ask ‘How long you on til?’ Whatever it was there I was asking my friend this question and inside my mind was a giant picture of Homer Simpson saying ‘Doh’.
My point therefore is why do we feel the need to ask this question? Where does this desire to ask come from? And why when we have a third child [or fourth or fifth or sixth etc.] do we feel the need to ask if we have a TV?
Why not pop over and see what else Leyla is writing about over on her blog, This Day I Love.