Yes, I am the fat girl on the treadmill.
The images in my head of seeing myself running on that treadmill and breaking it, or of me falling off or too much flab bouncing around were all unfounded fears. In fact the only thing that has effected me more than I thought was the possibility of being stick after myself physically in the cardio zone.
It was a state I spent a lot of time in when I was going to Boot camp 3 days a week and at my 2 session a week with a Personal Trainer a few years back. I remember the feeling of laying on the grass wanting to hurl up my breakfast and its part of the boot camp/personal trainer aspect I had completely forgotten about in detail till that first time on the treadmill a couple of weeks ago.
I was that fat girl walking and intermittently jogging, trying to make sure I didn’t fall or break the treadmill with my weight when the first bout of nausea hit.
Thank god for the emergency stop button.
With a swift press and the treadmill coming to a standstill part of my was relieved the other part was panicking as the dry heaving noise escaped my mouth louder than I had anticipated and the 3 immensely fit looking individuals that were in the gym at the same time all turned round to look at me. I prayed on that exact spot for the world to swallow me up whole. Instead however I had to take 5 minutes outside the gym while my heart rate dropped down to something below the 170 mark that it had previously been in and after checking out my options. I decided to quietly slip away and hope that I never do it again. I now pray to god that this is the only incident of embarrassment I will encounter at the gym, I think any accidental pee leakages or trumpeting from the rear end and I will be forced to move away from the area.
The only saving grace for me this time was the fact that there was no actual sick involved and that this encounter has spurred me on to keep going and to do smaller gaps of jogging in-between the walking until I am fitter.