My breastfeeding journey started almost 15 years ago with my daughter.
I was 21 and after a terrifying labour and painfully scary emergency section I had intended to breast feed my daughter from birth to toddler, however there certainly was very limited support out there.
Latching on for the first time I struggled, I struggled to get her on properly, I struggled with a partner who was embarrassed when I fed in front of family and I struggled to get myself in a better frame of mind so it was only a matter of a couple of weeks before I gave in… I failed … yet one more thing that I felt I failed at after it hit me hard about not being able to delivery my daughter naturally.
Fast forward 10 years to my second baby and a whole new life with a supportive then partner (now my husband) and 10 years more life experience mixed with a whole host more support than was offered with my first baby and I knew from the off I was going to breastfeed and I did I loved it, what I struggled with second time round was wanting to please everyone and include everyone so they could experience what I was experiencing (minus them actually producing a boob!)
At just over 10 days I started to use a manual breast pump to express milk so friends, family and my husband could feed him and he would still benefit from my breast milk… it didn’t work, I lasted around 4 more weeks of expressing and not feeding him myself when those pregnancy hormones sent me nutty.
I began to feel like a milking cow and resentment set in and feeding time and expressing time were filled with tears.
After a full on melt down, a phone conversation with my Mum and I had a decision to make breast feed or give up but expressing was not the way forward if I was not going to feed him from my breast …. By this stage I was so emotionally wrecked that I gave up, a cop-out maybe but I had totally lost the will to carry on.
Being 6 months pregnant currently I’m looking back on my breast-feeding journey to date and although it’s not great I managed around 5-6 weeks last time and it’s a super start but this time since this will be my last baby I really want to breast feed for much longer so I have come to terms with the past being the past and this time is totally new and it will be what it will be.
What will I be doing this time round:
I will not be expressing until I have breastfeeding established (at least not for the first few months) to eliminate the feelings I had last time.
I will purchase breast-feeding scarf to make myself more comfortable feeding in public and that hopefully will help me relax so I can get a nice milk supply going.
I will not give myself a hard time at where ever this journey takes me, I know many folks are pro breastfeeding and some are way too over the top on telling every parent how rubbish they are if they don’t breastfeed … it’s not helpful or supportive and in fairness post pregnancy Mum’s don’t need to feel like they are not good enough, they need support not pressure, they are already pressurising themselves enough for everyone.
I will be ready for every eventuality from bottle to breast ( I am sticking with the same range I used last time, Philips Avent worked well for me and although I used a manual breast pump last time I am going to use an electric breast pump this time in the hopes it takes less time, I must admit having taken it out the box it looks fab!
I will seek out some support locally to help me breast feed for longer and find some new Mums to make friends with since I work from home and have only a few people I would class as friends finding some breastfeeding ladies might help!
I have to say I am really feeling excited at the prospect of breastfeeding again, although I would be a fool to say I was not a tiny little bit apprehensive but this next chapter is sure going to be exciting.
If you breastfed what tips do you have to keep going with it?
Disclaimer: This is a collaborative post
I did enjoy your post… I almost had the same experience as you are going thru… with my first pregnancy I was clear that I was going to breast-feed and unfortunately my baby just did not like it.. so I had to pump it every time… for my second child I also wanted to breast-feed and she like it but I just did not have enough for keep her full so I had to bottle feed her… The most important thing is keep your baby happy and feed.. thanks for sharing with #Alittlebitofeverything
i am sorry to hear you had a similar issue to me its such a hard time isn’t it.
I’m not sure what your mean I havent shared with a linky?
I never even bothered expressing, everyone else can bond with baby by playing with them, changing their bum and giving plenty of cuddles. My eldest would scream the place down if I so much as attempted to put a bottle in her mouth, baby 2 I switched to bottles at about 6 weeks because we moved into a new house and it was easier to ship the girls off when we where having carpets laid etc. I had a breast pump but couldnt produce enough from it to be worth doing. For your own peace of mind and to make life easier for you I would really reccommend not expressing.
Cuddle up on the sofa with your OH by babys head when your feeding so he can gaze down at baby and stroke their head whilst baby feeds, it creates a lovely little bubble, and you can do the same with your other littlie ( and not so little) so when baby does start being awake for more of the feeds they will be able to look directly at you or your partner/their siblings.
But if it comes to it, sod the lot of it and do what makes you happy, baby wont be happy if you arnt which just results in way too much stress! As long as baby is fed it doesnt matter how it gets there in the grand scheme of things.
When are you due? Im due christmas day!
I’m a combined feeder and Love it. I’ve done it both times and it’s helped me to feel like I’m not trapped which is what I was terrified of. It works for us and this time I felt a lot more confident about it. I was so paranoid I’d be judged first time round. We are a complete Avent family 🙂
yay so pleased your settled in what works for you and your family lovely, its so hard isn’t it as there seems to be so many people judge on you’re feeding choices
We struggled to get breast feeding established in the hospital. We were in there 4 days after D was born so they lent me a pump to use and I started to get on really well with it. It was a medela one so as soon as I was let out, I went and got myself one. I used to pump in between feeds so that I would increase my supply and then I froze it too so I had spare if needed for any reason. Dexter refused to gain wait at a ‘normal rate’ But i refused to give in. He was happy and developing well, he was just small. The health visitors tried to force me into bottle feeding so I spoke to a breast feeding co-ordinator instead who sat with me while I fed him to see if there were any tips she could give me and recommended feungreek so I started taking that too. Once he started weaning, his weight just blossomed so I kept breast feeding him and giving him solids and eventually he started getting all that baby fat! After all that fuss somebody dared to say my baby was gaining too much weight. I snapped back saying that after he was so small he could be as fat as he wanted but it really hurt. People make comments without thinking and without knowing whats going on. The absolute best thing you can do is think about what you want and whats best for you and baby. Whatever you do, people will judge, people will tell you they know better, people will ‘offer advice’. Just nod and smile, and carry on with what you wanna do. Best advice I can give. Wishing you all the luck x
I was determined to breastfeed my son and it was really hard, nothing prepared me for the fact it would take ages for my milk to come in properly and my son was going to be hungry! It doesn’t help that my stress levels were sky high and I am pretty sure babies pick up on that. My determination worked though and he breastfed for 20 months, he was amazing after those first few days and I pumped a few times whilst hubby was in hospital but he wouldn’t take the bottle and hated it. But both my husband and family bonded with him in other ways, cuddles, nappy changes etc. When my daughter was born it was different, I knew I could do it and if there was a problem it was going to be her…if that makes sense? My milk came in straight away, I was like Dolly Parton and was expressing from the start, I put this in the freezer to give to her at a later date. She was a pro and I was so calm and everything was a whole lot less stressful, in life and in feeding her, changing her etc. I have loads of tips and we’ll have a breastfeeding cake session real soon, support is key and with my son I just didn’t have that. She took to bottle a lot better than my son and that stored up milk was great for when I was away. I’m here mama xx
aww thanks Mrs! i am so wanting to not have the same experience as last time i am slightly over thinking it i think trying to prepare
I tried to breastfeed both Roo and Tigger and both times it failed within the first 24 hours, my boobs are just not cut out for it so this time round I am going straight for bottle feeding and taking the added stress of attempting to breastfeed away #BlogBumpClub
aww honey i so know how you feel, its so hard, in fact harder than i thoughts possible so i am glad i am not alone on the struggling front! (sorry) i have everything i need for both breast and bottle in the hopes i dont feel too stressed with it