Not by my training by any stretch, as I am loving it. But I seem to have these phases a couple of times a year where I feel like I am being pulled into 3 million different directions and I’m not achieving anything other than stressing myself out.
I feel guilt that I am not the one in the garden with the kids, instead I am online working or heading out the door to start my external job. It makes my heart ache that once again I will miss out on the best bits of the kids summer as I am trying to balance it all.
I know that through June and July I tend to have the first of my meltdowns and I think that stems from being a work from home parent. With 6 weeks of school holidays to entertain 2 children and working full time from home I try to do it all and fail at everything in the vicious circle of stress.
There are jobs that are in dire need of doing at home, like the decorating of the hall stairs and landing that I started back in March and that haven’t been touched since. The half finished back garden that is looking overgrown and unkempt. There is the repairs to the ceiling in the kitchen from the shower leakage that occurred a few months back that have left massive brown patches on the ceiling so needs redecorating. Not to mention my upcoming assessment for my nail technician course and of course my full time online work that will still need completing even with both kids at home.
Before total meltdown occurs I am going to start making a list of things I can tackle to try to be more proactive like paying people to come in and help on the home and garden front. With a lack of hours to do things like this myself I am going to have to pay a painter and decorator as I am struggling to do it all. Same with the garden, however that is just beyond my capabilities.
I have accepted that I am not able to work full time at home, have a part time job externally and train on my new course without having childcare. So far we have popped Jacob into nursery for 2 mornings a week but as of this week he is now there for 2 full days to allow me guaranteed time to work in the office and get some solid work done.
Obviously I am still feeling rather overwhelmed with life right now but I feel more organised knowing that changes are afoot and that life is not always going to be this stressful. One day maybe soon I won’t feel like everyone wants a little piece of me and I have nothing left to give….