Over recent months it has come to my attention that I am no longer a people pleaser.
Now what I mean about that is that yes I do want to please some people, However after trying to please everyone all the time at detriment to my own feelings I have now become quite rigid at who I call a friend.
In the last year I would probably say I have pretty much waved goodbye to the fair-weather friends in favour of a more select group of friends than having lots of ‘friends’ that actually are not interested in taking the rough with the smooth.
Allowing myself the ability to distinguish from a fair weather friend and an acquaintance has allowed me to actually enjoy some amazing friendships without pressure, stress or upset and by setting myself some promises I have been able to maintain those friendships, thrive in them and enjoy being me all over again.
So in order to look at thing that can help maintain friendships I thought it best to explain the types of things that caused a friendship to fail for me in the past:
Loose lipped – Although I don’t like to gossip or say things about people I wouldn’t repeat to someones face, I do like to think that any friends I have, out of courtesy would keep anything discussed within the discussions only. Tell tales and stirrer are never going to make my list.
Immaturity – I am sure I am not alone, however game playing, and neediness to the point of clingy are all off-putting or me, there just are not enough hours in the day.
Selfishness – Making time is hard so when time is found its nice to thing that you are not putting all your effort in while someone else is expecting you to do all the running!
So am I alone with these, what makes a great friendship or what will wreck it for you?
What do you do to make your friendships work?
Haha when was this written as I am definitely a needy friend lol x
I struggle to make friends easily. I do have a few good ones though.
I’ve always had a few close friends and then various other ‘acquaintances’ who I speak to as and when. It is so important to have those proper friendships where it is give and take – I’ve known too many people who just sap the life out of you and I can’t be bothered anymore!
Real friends are precious. You’ve got to look after them, let them look after you and always remember how lucky you are to have them. x
I used to be the friends with everyone person but I soon learnt it meant I was often left out because everyone would think someone else had invited me (or so they say) while these days I’m happy to be friends with anyone I don’t go out of my way to please people.
I lost a lot of friends when I became a mum as they just didn’t ‘get it’. I now have more select friends and my time is so precious that I am more choosey about who I spend that time with. Great post and I can totally relate x
I can totally relate to this but I do find that I have friends that I don’t see from one year to the next but when we do meet up it all just falls into place
I always think there is a reason someone comes into your life, or leaves it x
Making time is the hardest thing for me. I want to stay in touch but sometimes I simply have no time… I start to prioritize and this phone call I supposed to make few days ago still isn’t happening… friendships have to be cared for… I have to care more…
i use to have so many friends , then i moved away and i found out i had none , now im a mum with 7 little ones , the freinds slowely withered and now i solely have family and a few good social friends , i keep in touch with old school friends but dont see them much x
My friends mean everything to me, even if I don’t see them for a long time things are just the same when we meet up, which I love xxx
Friends are so important and treasuring them is such a beautiful thing! xx
I find my best and closest friends are ones that I don’t need to speak to all the time but we can pick up where we left off even if it is a few months. Friends are so important though.