Why am I not allowed to hate trick or treating?
Last night I posted a status on my personal Facebook page
And to be fair I was shocked at just how many folks feel the same way as me about a festival that is shrouded in Pagan rituals and dark and menacing traditions.
Many folks above and beyond the ones that openly commented inboxed me to say they couldn’t agree more that they didn’t like it but felt they had to take part and it left me shocked and partly horrified.
My hatred for this one night of the year steams from the over commercialised aspect of a holiday that was mainly practiced in America.
I don’t mind seeing pictures of littlies dressed up or adults in all they scary get ups on the way to a party or family gathering as these are not happening in my house. I personally would not object to going to a party or getting my kids dressed and we do in fact carve pumpkins but what I hate is the expectation from others that I will be taking part in trick or treating or I am wrong if I don’t.
So why do I personally hate trick or treating?
There are several aspects to trick or treating I disagree with, the first and foremost is the expectation from others to give treats….
The first issue for me being that some families are not financially in a position to provide treats to others, they may in fact be struggling to put meals on the table that week never mind give someone else’s child treats.
Next is the fact that even on the Facebook thread the general consensus is that if houses don’t have decorations on the front then they don’t knock on … however that is not the case for everybody and that seems unfair to me. My home is my home and it is in fact my castle it’s my safe place and unless I invite people I should not have strangers knocking on my door … most people spend all year being peeved at the unsolicited door knockers so why is it ok on October 31st?
I personally (note the personally aspect again) I don’t think allowing my children to knock on the doors of strangers for one night of the year expecting to be given something but yet expecting them to follow the ‘stranger danger’ code the other 364 days works well, but again this is my choice and my opinions.
But what really does aggrieve me more than anything else?
That by me choosing not to take part or to not take my child trick or treating its seems other people feel they have to convince me of how safe it is or how nice it is …..
Honestly if you choose to take your children trick or treating ….. That is your choice …. I don’t look down my nose or think what you do is wrong … but please don’t expect everyone else to feel the same for many this festival is a little like Marmite you either love it or hate it.
So why is it I am in the wrong? Or folks need to convince me of why I should be taking part?
I don’t tell anyone else they should not be doing it …. I only say it’s not for us so don’t presume or expect things from us …. Why is that so wrong?
I am SO with you on this one. We put up a sign. Firstly, I do not want to spend my hard earned money on other people’s kids. The money we would have spent on sweets for trick or treaters has gone on our own children, buying them a DVD to snuggle up and watch. Secondly, I did not want the time I spent snuggling up with my own kids on a Saturday evening to be constantly interrupted by getting up to answer the door.
Trick or treating goes against everything I tell my kids not to do – accepting sweets from strangers, going to strangers houses and annoying people when they are trying to relax. I don’t mind my kids doing some halloween stuff at home, and if we were going to some sort of party that’s fine, but absolutely not trick or treating. Ever. And I will continue to be the miserable cow that puts up a sign every year asking for no trick or treaters!!
I so need one of those signs! I am glad I am not alone on this one!
When I was a single parent each week was hard feeding us never mind having treats and at the time I was inundated with trick or treaters and I felt so guilty … these days I am vocal about not supporting trick or treating so no one puts me in that position again and it saves their embarrassment and my upset 🙂
Happy 1st November
So with you on this one Jaime, as part of the older generation I hate door knockers after dark, would hate it even more if I was on my own, opening the door to half a dozen kids all screaming at me is not fun even with adults skulking in the back ground. So next year trick or treaters please don’t call unless invited……sorry just my opinion
I totally get this! .. how people want to celebrate Halloween is up to them but not at other people expense!
I might make a sign next year
Each to their own I suppose. Last night the whole family and friends had a genuinely fab time playing old fashioned party games together (apple bobbing, donuts on a string, choc on a plate) plus dancing together to Ghostbusters and the Timewarp. We did trick or treating (got given choccy covered sprouts to much hilarity at one house), only went to obviously participating houses. People who knocked at our door were polite and mostly littlees with parents. Finished by 7:30 in time for Strictly together on the sofa. Great family fun
thats the point ‘each to there their own’ as I said I dont mind what other people do as long as they dont expect me to do the same or make me feel wrong for not doing it.
I like to see the little ones dressed up and family parties sound super and you obviously didnt knock on my door so its good with me 😉 x
I’ve never been trick or treating but I do celebrate Samhain (Halloween), and I have to say I am a bit torn on the trick or treating aspect. I’d love to do it with my kids (if I have them) but I totally get your points.
Anyway, just wanted to say that you are absolutely entitled to your opinion and choice, you aren’t in the wrong and please ignore anyone who says you are. These things are personal choice, it’s down to each family to decide what is best for them.
I do agree that you need to respect homes that don’t have welcoming pumpkins and other decor saying it’s fine for trick or treating, but my children absolutely love Halloween. When I was little I missed out on Halloween because we lived in places where it wasn’t celebrated but I still remember clearly and happily the one year I was able to participate.
Hi Jaime.
I can see where you are coming from with trick or treating. I have never taken my kids before (except to knock on the doors of relatives who already know we are coming!). Last night though we walked home from a small party and I did let my two knock on doors. However, there were rules – only knocking on houses where the curtains were open / lights were on, only knock once and one ‘treat’ only. My two loved it, but I have in the past felt really uncomfortable with unknown people knocking on my door and not answered and so respect people who just don’t like it.
Some people though love it too – my Mum loves getting dressed up kids coming to the door, and once home last night my kids were watching out for ages for ‘trickle treaters’ – it beat watching the television for entertainment anyway 🙂
Xxx
I agree with you honey, I am totally for those folks that do want to take part and i love seeing everyone dressed up and i love the idea of a party i just hate the door knocking and expectations … good rules to stick by if you are going to take part! 🙂
I’m with you all the way Jaime! Hate this americanisation, high street and supermarkets also jumped on the band wagon with all their tat.
BUT the one thing I detest is that schools are holding halloween parties… wtaf!!!
We hear all the time that some parents are against the integration and learning about other religions and cultures but they willing accept all this halloween silliness?? #WorldGoneMad
I’m an American from a small town where trick or treating was a big deal, so I love it. But I do wish it was done the same way over here. There is a set day and time for trick or treating that everyone knows. Police, the fire department, and volunteers monitor traffic and patrol the town to help keep things safe. Schools go over safety procedures (things like using a flashlight, wearing visible clothing, and staying away from candles). And everyone makes it clear that you ONLY go to houses with the front lights on and/or decorations. It makes it nice for those who don’t want to participate because children won’t be bothering them. And children weren’t out at all hours of the night.
i like that idea Monica, what i found in the FB thread on my status last night was that some still visit houses that are not clearly marked with decorations which i think is awful and then others implying those that did not want to take part were wrong .. for me its all about choice and I dont mind one bit those that do it i just dont like the door knocking 🙂
Ive taken my girls for the last 2 years, and they love it. lots of houses dont put up decorations but do have a bowl of sweets, we got a lot of comments from older people about how they had hardly had any one this year so please take a handful of sweets! And I go to the door with my girls, and maker sure they say thank you, only take one, and are polite. Both of my girls are very confident and will have full conversations with the people in the houses. we do only ring/knock once and only hang around for a little while so we arnt being a pain, also myself and the other parents who are out tell eachother if anyone isnt in/ doesnt want callers.
What I dont agree with though is the older children dressed up and being loud and pushy. once I had got back with my girls it was bed time and as we hae CCTV on our house we can see who is at the door (Handy at the mo as our doorbell is broken!) But when we had teens calling at 9.30 and repeatedly banging on the door there was no way I was going to answer.
I do feel tht in the pat everyone knew everyone on their street/ in their village so it was safer and more accepted.
and Halloween is a Celtic Tradition which was taken to America and made massive.
I dont think anyone who isnt taking part is wrong and as we walk around I tell my girls about how some people dont agree/some cant afford it/ it can scare some older people. And any houses which had signs on my eldest would tell me “the person in that house doesnt want us to knock on their door” and more people seem to be leaving bowls of sweets outside their front doors this year with a sign saying help yourself.
what a lovely way to teach your children of acceptance of others and in this instance of people that dont want to take part in the trick or treating … now if only your common sense was followed through by everyone that would be lovely! 🙂
I always try get them to accept that not everyone is the same and so far I think theyve both been very good about it all. Theres enough intolerance and hatred in the world already.
there certainly is Fern .. our acceptance at others choices is always super important in my book 🙂
I love trick or treating and the whole Halloween thing. But there is nothing wrong with not either. Each to their own and how you chose to spend the night should be up to you and you alone. We have a family party and the kids love it, but we love it x
see i would love a family party! i like the halloween aspect but its just the trick or treating i hate lol