Hi there regular reader.
This month this wonderful blog space has been my sanity for over 9 years.
It has been my space to share and celebrate all that our life brings for each of us and as a family.
However, COVID hit and I have to be honest. The thought of this online space made me feel rather angry and scared.
I was watching people relishing being online and finding a new way of being and I was resenting it wholeheartedly.
The whole of this pandemic has made me not only feel tired and angry but its made me feel totally under the weather with everything. I lost interest in watching people online telling everyone how perfectly they were home schooling. Or those that ‘Hinched’ everything in their four walls .. my journey on here has always been about honesty and I have to say to be brutally honest … I had the most awful time.
I have suffered with depression in the past and I felt under a cloud of it over the last 2 years as my nail and beauty business shut, reopened, shut, might reopen, but didnt reopen, and then reopened again.
I missed people terribly and missed faces and smiles and even hugs .. yes, i am a hugger.
Most of all I couldn’t stand the fakery of life online that some shared.
I retreated by avoiding my online space.
Over the last few months I have been reassessing my work life and home life and at the ripe old age of 42 I have decided that I am going to take back control.
I am no longer going to be beholden to nail and beauty clients cancelling at the last minute and I am going to keep some of my favourite regular ladies who I absolutely adore to spend time with. But I am now going to search out an ’employed’ job role to run along side it so ensure that I at least can feed the kids and keep the lights on.
During the Pandemic I spent around 9 months out of the first 12 months with no gainful employment and after costs of opening and closing each time it really meant finaiacailly we suffered. This time I am going to make sure I can continue with a stable income from one while the other role continues to plod but without pressure.
I also considered removing my blog and all my social channels in this big midlife switch up.
Thankfully I had a change of heart. I loved my blog before and I have no doubt now I can love it again. What I won’t love nor will I follow others or tolerate it is fake online people, account or hashtags.
Numbers do not matter to me anymore. Just this personal online space that offers a real life family with the highs and lows of finding a new normal.
If you too struggled over this last month, just know I am sending a virtual hug and you are welcome to reach out anytime to me.
Heres to the new normal and finding our own reality.
I’m sorry to hear how tough things have been for you, Jaime. It’s great to see you and I have to say, I LOVe your hair, it really suits you :0) xx
Hi lovely lady. Thank you so much. I was initially sceptical about my hair being so short but im feeling better about it now.
How are things with you?
Everything’s good, thanks :o)
My blog has gone unloved as well for a year. Nothing to talk about, no visits with grandchildren, no out anywhere and nothing to tell. 10 years of their lives were shared.Ten ears the older two love to look back on and remember the things we did together.
Have considered doing a few memory posts about my childhood for my own children to read but have no enthusiasm.
Shut my twitter but retook my name back after a month to stop anybody else taking it just in case. Have a new Facebook page mainly as it is impossible to live without it if you want a tradesman or to get hold of tye council etc,like you I just found it all so false.
Glad you are taking back hold of everything and I wish you the best of luck.
Hugs Jaime. Hope you’re feeling more positive with your decisions now and good luck with the job search.
Take care.such a difficult time x
Good on you for taking back control and good luck with the job searching. I love the new hair do x
I’m so sorry to hear this but FEEL you so much. Covid was definitely either a good thing or a bad thing for many of us, and the fake positivity and people seeming to thrive during this time when many of us, myself included, were just taking it day by day was hard. Thank you for writing this and your honesty, and I wish you the best of luck with your new decisions, which sound fantastic.
Lisa @ lovefromlisa.com
Oh hon I am right there with you. I’ve not blogged since I got covid, then covid pneumonia and long covid. But I had a job and could work from home and still am 18 months later, but it was chaos with the kids at home too. As we both worked full time and had the phones from work here. I know how lucky I was and am to have a job and to do that. I don’t know how others did it and I’ve have been far more stressed if I didn’t. You know I think you are awesome and I’d back you all the way, but I think what you have said will allow for a happy medium and no more writing until the wee small hours. I think the pandemic has changed blogging and most of us that used it as a diary, we’ll I’ve still not left the house and feel I’d sound all negative, so I’m not going to do it. You have got this and I am cheering you on. I’m here always xxx And miss you xxx