These last few days have been tough, the transition of becoming a family of 4 to a family of 3 has been hard.
Beth and I were the original duo to the family and every inch of this house reminds me of building our home together.
When Ollie came along it was like he was meant to be, he slotted in and we all loved our little 3.
A short while later Joshua came along and only added to our unit … the 4 of us.
As things changed and the emotional and social issues for Beth hit … life got harder, sometime to the point of unbearable, but we clung tight … no one was there to rescue us, but we had each other.
Now Beth has made the choice to leave our family for the promise of clean slates and fresh starts, her Dad has made it clear that we are not part of her family, the 3 remaining members of this family are sad, we are tired, disappointed and scared at what the future now holds, more for her than for us.
Joshua has pined for his sister over the last few days and we have no answers to give, we don’t know if he will ever see her again, we can’t answer that. She made her choice.
For me I am just sad, sad to my very core that I fought a corner for my daughter that was not enough.
Today I am sad, I have cried and will no doubt cry some more … but these tears are not for anything other than sadness at what my Daughter has chosen to walk away from, sadness at what will be her future and for the little girl I gave birth too.
One day I hope she sees the bigger picture …
Today I am sad, tomorrow is another day and its time to move forward.
Oh Jaime, I don’t have any words, other than that I am sending you much love. I can’t imagine how sad you are. Much, much love xxx
thank you Kiran, Its been a wobbly kinda day … just when i think i am ok it hits again .. tomorrow is a new day xx
Big hugs honey, I went through similar with my eldest, although I’ve never mentioned it online.
Just take each day as it comes and hopefully she’ll come to see just how much you all love her x
Thanks for your kind words Jeannette, its such a really sad point in our lives and one i never dreamt we would be in .. i am so sorry you have lived this too .. sending hugs to you too x
Oh Jaime.
I’ve been so absent from blogging for months now I feel crap for just popping up like this. I am so sorry to hear this has all been going on but I promise you that she will see the right way. It might not be next week, or next year but all will come good. Huge love for you guys. That can’t have been as easy post to write at all. xxxxxxx
awww Hannah thank you, it was hard but felt i wanted to be honest and its hurting.
Hope to see you around online more?
Oh my goodness, I’m sorry to hear this Jaime 🙁
The future is unknown to us all, hopefully Joshua will see his sister again, and hopefully sooner rather than later xx
Hi Rachael, for now i fear he won’t get that option nor will any other member of my side of her family … but we will keep things crossed
Thinking of you Jaime. I can only imagine would unbearable pain you must be going through. Keep reaching out to her, even if it’s little cards or texts to let her know you care. I’m sure she will come round one day. When she’s matured a little. I hope so anyway. x x
thanks Suzanne, we dont know her address or even a direct number for her so we can’t contact even if we wanted too
Gosh Jamie, I can’t imagine what you are going through as a parent but when I was a teenager, I left home to stay with my dad and it was a huge wake up call for me. I realised that I had a really, really good life with my mum and stepdad, even though I argued with him a lot and never really appreciated everything not only he did but they did for me. Obviously I don’t know what happened with Beth but I hope she will come to realise (as I did) that you love her and are there for her no matter what and she’ll be in touch soon.
Thanks Laura, what a terrible time for you all it must have been, going through it now is awful so i can empathise as to how your mum felt xxx
Big hugs to you and all your family. It must be really hard. I would be broken in your shoes. I hope she has a change of heart and realise what she is missing out on xx
thanks Zena, we just need to know she is ok really, when in her last CAMHS meeting she was asked about where she wanted to live and she was positive it was not with her Dad so it does concern me
I honestly think she will realise that the grass isn’t greener, that what she has been promised won’t actually happen and in the cold light of day, she will understand that she’s made a mistake. She’s got so much going on in her head and is being played too, but when the s**t hits the fan and she needs real parenting, it will soon be clear that other parties involved won’t be up to the job.
Hang in there, I hate that you are going through this but I honestly think it has to get better. It might get worse before things improve but having been through similar, it can get better. I moved out at 15, when my mum and I couldn’t handle each other. I eventually realised that I needed my mum and we worked things out.
Hugs, much love. I want to gently shake the teenager, tell her my experience, so she realises she’s not the first to experience this, smack the manipulative orther parent and give you a big hug…
biggest loves in the world Karen, your support has been amazing and your wise words have meant so much. thank you millions for being there
It’s really hard and confusing being a teenager – and having a teenager. We still have 3 here.
I know so much more about how you are feeling right now than I’m prepared to discuss in public.
Do not lose touch, message occasionally but don’t emotionally blackmail or bombard her. You will regain your relationship, but you have to let her try and find her path. Try and stay civil with your ex, but it’s actually not fair to expect him to ever fight your corner – always turn it round and see what you would do.
It’s not going to be in any way easy and you’ll cry a lot, but never ever allow yourself to think she’s lost forever, because she won’t be xx
I am sorry to hear you may have been through something similar Jenny, i think all feels lost when we have no way of contacting her 🙁
Sending lots of love x
thanks Colette x
Jaime, I’m sending many hugs your way, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you xx I’ve seen it happen to other really lovely mothers though, and what happens afterwards. Never give up hope but do give her the space she needs and one day I hope this will all seem like a bad dream for you all xxx
Thank you Anne xxxx
Aww jaime im so sorry you are sad. You are brave to let her make her choice and lets hope she will start to seeshe had a good life with you. Fingers crossed for a better future for you both. Hugs xxxx
Thanks Jill, here is hoping it is all that she is hoping … cake is ok today isn’t it?
So much lovely honey. She will see the bigger picture and she will be back. Here for you x
thanks Susan you are a super star! xxx
Oh Sweetheart it’s so sad. I read the previous post but didn’t know what to say.
It’s a huge decision on her part and you can only hope that she will be happier with her decision. I’ve no doubt that she’ll keep you in her thoughts and in her heart.
It must be so tough and especially so for little Joshua of course.
Loads of hugs to you all. Much Love. XX
Really sorry to hear. It must be very hard for all of you. Sending hugs 🙂 x
Xxx
Sending love and hugs! Thinking of you x
Sending love Jaime, as always x
Hi Jaime, so sorry that you are all having to go through this.
Perhaps a sympathetic person at Beth’s school or CAMHS may be able to independently pass a message to her. Knowing that you’re working to keep communication open with her might make it easier for Beth to send that first text or email to you.
I’ve struggled with my relationship with my step-mother since my Dad passed away and at times the odd comment on a Facebook photo was just enough to stop us losing touch completely. Five years later our relationship with each other is different, but still loving. I’m sure over time you’re relationship with Beth will evolve into something that works positively for you all.
Sending you love, a virtual cake and anything else to help x
OH Jamie, I’m crying with you. This is such a tough situation to be in. All I can say is that given time I’m sure Beth will realise what a lovely family she has and that you can rebuild what feels broken right now. Being a teenage girl can be so tough and she has some hard lessons to learn my lovely. Say strong, sending big hugs up the motorway xx
I can’t begin to imagine how hard this is for all of you and I hope that in time it will become easier. Thank you for being brave enough to share this on your blog. Thinking of you x
Oh sweety I am so sorry. God, I can’t imagine how your heart must be breaking and the worries that must be running through your mind. I hope she sees how amazing you have been to her soon and realises what she is missing *hugs*
If I could call you I would just so you know I am here for you [my kids have broke my phone]. You are in my thoughts.
I am sure one day she will just come and knock on you door and all ills will be forgotten and things will be right again. Keep strong.
I am so sorry it has come to this. She will appreciate you – but today she is still very young and confused. xx
Hugs xx