*Advertorial Feature With Johnson’s Baby*
Until recently I had never heard of the term ‘Gentling Parenting’
In fact, up until now any kind of self-reflection on the parenting front has left me feeling anxious.
Relationships with my adult daughter have been difficult for some time and if I am honest I struggled immensely being a single parent for 14 years and I know I was not the easiest parent to have.
Over the last year I have had the pleasure of attending some really informative meetings as part of my role as a Johnson’s Baby Ambassador.
The recent meeting discussed parenting styles and how different decades can often have an impact on your parenting style.
After some honest reflection about my past parenting and the differences that lifestyles, technologies and parenting expectations have had on my parenting journey. I am not afraid to say that I do not parent all 3 of my children the same way and never have done no matter what age they have been.
Acknowledging this has been a really big deal for me but understanding why I have chosen to make the choice to parent the way I have with my youngest 2 (aged 8 and 3) has been a learning curve.
In fact at the last Ambassador meeting Sam Saunders from the Baby Guru explained that parenting each child differently this type can form part of a ‘gentle parenting’ method.
So without further ado here are some of the things that can make for a gentle parenting style:
• Listening & Talking – taking time to actually listen and talk to your children no matter what they have to say.
• Praise – Not just for completing something good but for the trying too
• Respect – Both teaching and learning it
• Understanding of child’s development stage – Basing expectations on their age and their own abilities not just of what others at their age might do.
• Sharing feelings – Not just their own but sharing your feelings too as a parent
• Kindness – To them and to others
• Consistency – If guidelines are given then continuity must be maintained
• Explain – Taking the time to explain can help a child understand things on a wider level
• Being confident in saying no – Parenting is about making manageable guidelines for everyone and that sometimes means standing your ground.
• Self-control – Learning self control can be a difficult skill to learn but its a great one to pass on to children.
Why I Want To Gentle Parent
Parenting with my youngest 2 I knew that I didn’t want to follow the stereotypical norms of parenting 2 decades ago. So for the last 8 years I have been making smaller changes to how I deal with the kids and sometimes without even knowing!
Gentle parenting has allowed me to heal my parenting past and I have come to terms with not being perfect and it has allowed me as a parent to grow and not keep beating myself up about the past.
I have accepted my mistakes and know that although I will make new ones along the way I am ok with that because I am more in tune with my parenting self now than I have ever been.
Benefits Of Gentle Parenting
- Acknowledging children & adults have bad days
- It’s for all parents from all walks of life
- You can start this approach at anytime
- Helping children flourish
- Creates a better environment for children to grow and flourish in
- Confidence both in children but in your parenting skills
- Child feels less judged
- Parents feel less vulnerable and supported rather than criticised
- Puts the onus on people and time and not stuff and things
I am in a really happy place right now, in my head and my heart. Parenting is not easy and for me parenting the boys independently of each other can be hard work. However, I am learning what works for each of them and I am learning to listen to each of them and base my parenting on that.
All I want for the boys is for them to be independent, confident and positive boys who respect themselves and others. Here’s to listening more and adapting as I go.
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